Why Are You Like This?

Don’t breed.

Just when you thought a wedding at a karaoke bar that’s located in the basement of a Travelodge couldn’t get any more romantic…

Hey genie, I intentionally avoided rubbing that lamp for a reason. Get the fuck back in.

This is the sound of a chair crying.

Sir, this is a bar. You won’t find any children in here. I will still take a piece of that delicious hard candy, however.

I know you’re having fun, but to every patron of this establishment, it just looks like you’re pretending to fuck a fat retarded kid… pretty insensitive.

Just because your mom and dad are siblings, and you spent your high school days lifting weights instead of finally learning to read, doesn’t mean you look tough or intimidating. You still look like an 8 year old looking for a Nerf war to me.

It is literally pitch black behind you…

Put your collar down. Get your 14 year-old girlfriend out of the god damned bar. Go home, and talk to your father for 8 straight hours, because that guy obviously owes you some life lessons that he forgot over the past 21 years. Come on back when you’re ready to be a grown up.

Unfortunately, I think I startled these folks when I asked to take their photo; but you should have seen them struttin’ down the street smilin’ and laughin’. These are the types of couples you bring to court as evidence when you’re trying to prove love and fashion exist.